Disclaimer: I do not promote or glorify any form of self harm.
Before I start:
1. Yes, this post is early.
2. There’ll still be one on Sunday.
Earlier in the week, one of my internet friends (wait, there are other kinds?) told me that no one understood her logic. This logic can be found here.
She thinks that’s not logical? Has she ever met me? (Answer: no.)
Self harm is not logical. Cutting yourself – and feeling better after it – is not logical. Craving the feeling of blood trickling out of a wound you made is not logical.
Does that stop me? No.
It makes me feel better, even if it’s only for the fleeting moment I cut. It makes me forget reality, even if it’s only for the few seconds the knife carves a message into my wrist. It makes me feel like I’m in control. That’s not logical. I know it’s not logical.
But it doesn’t stop me.
I have my reasons for cutting. They’re not logical, but they make sense to me.
Everyone has their own set of rules they want to live by. These are some of mine. They won’t make much sense to anyone else, but your rules won’t make sense to me.
Things don’t need to be logical to make sense. Accept it, move on.